SUBSTACK | The Gentleman's Guide to Birth Control
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON SHAMELESS
AUGUST 2024
The future of male contraceptives and how knowing more about birth control makes you a better partner
Several years ago, I taught an Our Whole Lives sexuality education course for 7th-9th graders. During one of the classes, we discussed options for navigating unplanned pregnancies. After we taught the basics of abortion, one of the boys raised his hand. “I just don’t think it’s fair that if a girl is pregnant and wants an abortion, she can do that, even if the boy wants the baby.”
I considered his question before replying, “You’re right to observe that after a pregnancy begins, the girl can make decisions the boy can’t. But she’s also the one who takes on more risk and stigma. Pregnancy and birth can be physically difficult and dangerous, not to mention the challenge of teen motherhood.”
I added, “It’s important for boys to understand that their power comes in decision-making before pregnancy begins. This is why we discuss birth control with all genders in this class. Boys who are attracted to girls need to understand how effective these options are (or aren’t) so they can do their part to prevent pregnancy before it happens.”
While family planning is a topic that concerns people of all genders, birth control is socially assumed to be a woman’s issue. Men don’t always know much about the birth control their female partners take, how it works, or what kinds of questions are appropriate to ask. This, combined with the general discomfort many people have around sexual communication in general, can lead to assumptions, misunderstandings - and unplanned pregnancies.